Funnies: To Astronaut, 'You're Fired!', Poetic Torture?

May 17, 2009 — -- Here's a roundup of the late-night comics.

Jimmy Fallon: House speaker Nancy Pelosi says that the CIA lied to her in 2003. Yeah, apparently, they sent her a document saying that her makeup looked subtle.

Kimmel: Even NASA is feeling the effects of the economy all the way in space. It looks good. (Fake footage of guy handing out pink slip in space.) "You're fired!" (Astronaut:) "Oh terrific."

Jay Leno: President Obama and first lady Michelle Obama hosted a night of poetry and music featuring musicians, authors and poets. To which President Bush said, "Now, that's torture."

David Letterman: Did you see this? While his holiness is away on his trip to the Middle East, rest assured the Vatican is in good hands. Pope Benedict has hired an experienced vice pope. (Photo of Cheney at Vatican with lower third that reads, "Let's waterboard some heretics.") Vice Pope Cheney let's waterboard some heretics.