FUNNIES: Now Nobody Can Run Ports, Like Before -- 3.12.06

ByABC News
March 12, 2006, 11:59 AM

March 12, 2006 — -- A roundup of the late-night comics.

The Tonight Show

Jay Leno: Did you hear about this? The people have spoken. The Dubai port deal is dead. We got our ports back. Dubai announced they will sell ownership of the six American ports to another investor. The bad news? It's Iran. Yeah, but OK, it's a step in the right direction. They're calling this the biggest setback for the Bush administration -- all day.

Real Time

Bill Maher: I think I know why you are in a good mood tonight. That Dubai ports deal finally died. Port security will go back to being handled by the same people who were handling it before. Nobody.

The Tonight Show

Leno: Hey, that's something you rarely see: Republicans rejecting a business deal? That's like a Democrat turning down a hooker. That never happens.

Late Night

Conan O'Brien: According to The Washington Post, newly retired Federal Reserve Chairman Alan Greenspan has been offered $8 million to write a book. Yeah. Yeah, finally a book that captures the romance and excitement of an old man talking about interest rates.

The Tonight Show

Leno: Did you hear about this, now to get even with us the United Arab Emirates they are talking about not buying any American-made products. Oooh. Yea, we got them there too: We don't make any products in America anymore. They're all in China!